Ellen's Dance

A Eulogy for My Grandmother


My Grandmother was many things… a mother to 4, a wife to 2 wonderful men, grandmother of 13 and a great grandmother of many more. She was a sister, a friend, a church member and a beautiful spirit.

There are several things about Grandma that I will always remember. I’ll remember how beautiful she was and how she always looked so young for her age - my friends who met her would never believe me when I told them how old Grandma was. I will remember how after she visited, we would always look around for what Grandma had left behind, usually her purse or a hat. I know I will miss her sense of humor, it was a gift she gave the whole family. Holidays at my house are always filled with funny stories and Grandma was always right in the mix…telling her own and laughing along with everyone else.

The largest and most obvious aspect of my grandmother was the deep and intense love she had for her family. Her family meant everything to her. Even last week when I visited her in the hospital, the first thing she asked me about was my three year old daughter and if she enjoyed her swim class. Grandma was always interested in what was going on in the lives of her family, and she in turn was the center that held all the pieces together. I will be forever grateful that when she passed, she did so surrounded by those she loved the most – Stanley and her four children.

When I sat down to think of the impact my grandmother had on me, I remembered a moment from my childhood that made me feel like I was looking at my grandparents for the first time in my life. It was their 50th wedding anniversary and I was 13 years old. That night, my grandmother was dressed in a beautiful, soft pink colored dress… and she looked amazing. They renewed their wedding vows and we had a big reception with great food, skits, lots of laughing and dancing – there was always dancing. Many of you probably know that my grandparents were beautiful dancers…so much so, that I feel sorry for those of you who never had the chance to watch them together. That night, I’m not sure that my grandmother’s feet ever touched the floor… she seemed to me to just float above it.

As I watched them dance, I realized how much more it was than just moving to the music. When Grandpa stepped forward, Grandma stepped back then almost immediately, Grandma would step forward and Grandpa would step back. My grandfather would spin her out and give her that moment to shine…but Grandma always spun back to him and continued the dance. Even as young as I was, I realized… that was what marriage was about. Even though there was that give and take… even though sometimes you had to step back and give your partner their moment in the spotlight…you still had to face each other or the dance wouldn’t work. It was one of the greatest lessons of my life, and my grandparents didn’t even realize they were teaching me, they were just enjoying the dance.

My grandmother’s dance here is over now. I will miss her. I will miss her sense of humor, her love for her family. I will miss the lessons she didn’t know she was giving. But I won’t be sad, because I know that while this song is over, the music doesn’t stop. My grandmother is already onto her next dance…as light and as beautiful as ever.