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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Independence in Autumn

Whew...October is always so busy, it's hard to find time to write. I have been working with the high school marching band again this year and October is our competition month...it's almost over and yet there is still so much to do. Our show this year is great and I am really involved on a more personal level this year...we may even have the opportunity to make state finals *crossing fingers*

Nathan and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary this month. I can't believe it has been that long already. To celebrate, we both took the day off, dropped Hailey at daycare and went to the casino to lose money *we are really good at that* - it was a lot of fun regardless. Daycare offered to keep Hailey overnight for us (her first overnight away from both Mom and Dad) - so we got to spend some super rare, one-on-one time with each other. I didn't even realize how much I missed being together like that until we were able to have that time....thanks Jamie! Maybe I don't express how I feel about my husband enough on this blog, but I can't imagine raising a child or sharing my life with anyone else. We are far from being a perfect couple, that is for sure - there have been some serious rough spots in the last 10 years. However, when I think back to who we were when we were married... and the ways in which both of us have grown since then... I realize what being in a relationship is really about. I can honestly say that I love him even more now then I did 10 years ago, because I understand both of us so much better.

Flu season has hit hard, schools have been shut down because of the H1N1 flu and people at work are dropping like flies. Fortunately, it has not visited our house *knock on wood*. However, I am getting over a nasty head cold. As a result, I've been in a heavy fog lately and so many things now need my attention...for example:

Halloween is right around the corner.... and our annual Pumpkin Carve is this weekend! The house is a disaster area and I need to clean and pull out some of our decorations. Last week, we went to the pumpkin patch, so now Hailey has her own pumpkin to carve this year. I can't wait to see how she reacts to pumpkin guts - will she be girly about it or will she dive right in? My money is on being girly simply because she doesn't like to have her hands dirty. Hailey's costume is purchased...although there is some 'tweaking' and accessories that have to happen. Many of you already know what she is going to dress up as, but I will again defer announcing her costume on this blog until I have some photos to share.

Speaking of photos to share.... I have one to post here from Hailey's latest adventure - SWIM CLASS! We started taking swim lessons last month at the Health and Fitness Center and she is really enjoying it! Both Hailey and Nathan get in the pool and she practices things like kicking, jumping in and pushing off. Daddy practices things to...like how to grip a wet, squirmy 3-year old. They end class by getting into a circle and singing songs - it's a 12 out of 10 on the cuteness scale. I think I am most proud of her behaviour at the pool, she is patient when she has to wait to get in the pool and fairly well behaved getting dressed. Her last class was yesterday, but we have signed her up for the next level -'Seashells' - in which she will be by herself (with the instructor) in the pool. I don't know how comfortable I am with that yet...I'll have to wait until the first class to see.

Hailey is essentially totally potty trained - we have even stopped putting on pull-ups at night. In fact a few nights ago, as Nathan and I were falling asleep (Hailey had been asleep for a while), we heard her waking up. We almost got out of bed, but then we saw her from behind as she walked past our door to the bathroom (with an awesome case of bed-head). We listened as she went potty.... followed by a long, long silence. Nathan and I were actually concerned that she had fallen asleep on the toilet. After a minute, she started crying because she wasn't quite able to finish by herself and was still half asleep. We calmed her down and helped her finish. It was almost a major milestone. I think that if she had been able to go all by herself...it would have been me that was crying.

She is getting so independent now...part of it is liberating relief - like being able to take the Diaper Genie out of her room - but it is also tremendously bittersweet. I can see the day coming soon where she will no longer want me to put outfits together for her or help her with puzzles. That thought gives me a dull ache in my heart. I knew that feelings like this would come at certain stages in her life - the big independence moments like the first day of school or leaving for college...but I didn't expect them so soon. She's still just so...little. I can't even watch kids getting onto their school bus without a small pebble of anxiety. I know that between Nathan and myself, I have the role of the worrier - I'm trying to curb that now while I can (heck, before she can drive!). Things I never would have thought twice about are now major concerns. I just can't help being continually reminded of how much changes within yourself when you become a parent. I realize now how much growing up I still have left to do myself.

"The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles.
A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom.
The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard."
~Sloan Wilson

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