Real Milestones

When you become a parent, there are milestones moments you look forward to, that need no explanation - the first smile...first word... first step. These moments are so awe inspiring that entire baby book pages are dedicated to their memory. You wait for these moments - often with camera in hand, knowing that they are about to happen. They are recorded, announced to family and friends and celebrated by all. Some of them, like potty training and solid foods, come on gradually over a period of months. However, most seem to come in quick 'Ta-dah' type moments. Parents live for these moments...hell, we misguidedly gauge our child's development by how quickly they reach these milestones.

My favorite milestone moments, are the hidden ones. The journey of raising children is filled with turning points that you aren't expecting, that you don't read about in magazines. These forgotten few have no page in the baby book and yet they surprise you with their clarity and significance.

My first and most beautiful happened long before Hailey spoke her first word. I sat on the couch looking at her, and I saw the spark of understanding in her eyes. She knew who I was and could communicate with me before any attempt at words had been exchanged. The realization, that I would someday be able to speak with her and hear her thoughts, brought tears to my eyes - it still does.

Sometimes the most moving milestones arise from very ordinary, everyday events.

We had one of those a week ago.... at a family birthday party at my parent's house. We were all playing around with Hailey on the floor when she came over and bit me on the chest. It hurt enough to leave a bruise and I was very upset. I took her to the 'time out corner' while my family waited to open birthday gifts. Hailey stood upset and crying in the corner for several minutes before I called her to me. I asked her "Do you know why you were in time-out? What did you do?" She said... "I bit Momma".

I was floored. It was the first time ever that she was able to tell me what she did wrong. If you are not a parent, you may be wondering why that is a big deal... but if you know children...you understand how HUGE that is. She remembered, she realized that her actions caused a consequence and she admitted to it. The bite still hurt like the dickens, but that milestone with Hailey helped make the bruise a little easier to bear.

Moments like that catch you so off your guard that, when you recognize them, they seem to connect to a deeper part of you. They are more monumental then some checklist item which you use as a developmental barometer....they allow you to see glimpses of who your child really is and... who they are about to become. Every one's baby book has a space for first tooth and first haircut, but how many can tell you 'When I learned to be responsible for my actions?'

That...to me... is worth writing down.