Mother's Day Moments

Now that I am a full fledged mom, I've noticed significant changes in my personality, what matters to me and the type of person I am. Some of them are good... some of them maybe not so much - but I have definitely noticed these changes in myself. To mark my second official Mother's Day, I'll share these changes with all of you...

I'm more interested in politics - slightly. I've always voted, but I really don't care much for politics. I think it stems from the knowledge that what you read about politicians is rarely the truth or the whole picture. I have a hard time tolerating that. Now however, I have the responsibility to Hailey to do my part in making sure the world isn't too screwed up for her when she is older. I'm sure my interest will increase even more when she is in school. I might even get the newspaper. That being said...

I hate reading the news - I used to love the news (I read it mostly online). Now, I have to totally edit the stories which I read. Anything involving a child under the age of 10 will depress me all morning - and there is a bad news story about a small child every single day! Every time you read a story like that, you run the risk of imaging yourself in their shoes, and you just can't start every day of your life like that. I'm trying not to become a paranoid parent, so I found it's best to just not read those headlines.

I cry more - I cry a lot more than I used to. It used to take a LOT for me to weep and I never cried at work. I cry now for happy things as well as sad. My top three tear-jerkers: Children, animals and soldiers. One particular song will make me cry every single time I hear it. The news (as stated above) can make me cry with a single headline. My eyes well up almost every time I check in on Hailey as she sleeps. I'm so much more thankful for my life than I have been in the past, so much more empathetic....that I sometimes just can't hold back the waterworks.

I look at children in public places completely differently - misbehaving kids in public used to annoy the daylights out of me. Now, when I see a screaming kid, I am much more tolerant of the child - its the parents that will annoy me more. Often, I will see parents that are genuinely trying to rein the kid in, and I feel sorry for them. Every parent has to deal with public tantrums, they are a fact of parenthood. There are a ton of parents though, that don't help the situation.. or worse...totally pay no attention to what the kid is doing or how it effects others. I'm completely tolerant of babies, toddlers and their parents. But...the older the kid, the more annoyed I am.

I'm even more attracted to my husband - before I had Hailey, I read a story about two married women talking. The childless woman was asking her friend about how having kids changes your relationship with your husband. I read intently at this point, because that is an issue discussed in 'new parenting' circles and something that worried me as well. When you are pregnant, you hear all about how your relationship takes a backseat once a child comes into the picture. In the story, the woman with children thought to herself how she could possibly relay the change to her friend. Yes, the relationship with her husband was different, but not in the way her friend feared. The woman saw her husband as more than a friend and a soul mate... but also as a father. How she felt when she watched him play with their child, made her love him in ways she didn't know existed before. When he became a father, he also became a complete person and she finally understood how to love him as a whole.

I totally get that now.

I'm more aware of my own bad habits - this is a big one for me. I am much more aware of my own bad habits and faults...and hopefully, much more willing to change them. There are the obvious bad habits that everyone wants to change - 'I want to eat better and exercise more' - of course...who doesn't think that? I DO want to lead a healthier lifestyle, and I want to teach that to my daughter. But there are other, sneakier things that also need to change with me. A better self image for one... maybe that comes with better food and exercise, maybe it doesn't. If it doesn't...how do I come across to my daughter - defeated, depressed or positive and determined? And that is just the surface. There are so many things you want to build for your child...that when you realize the foundation of those things is you...you understand how important it is that you be stronger than you have ever been.

Moms are incredible, nurturing and complicated people. We never did much for Mother's Day when I was growing up - but my mother is the most amazing, patient and kind person I have ever met. I hope you celebrated your Mother's Day in a way that every mother deserves.