More 'Toddler True-isms'

More Lessons From Toddlerville

* Regardless of their behaviour during the day, all toddlers are cute when they are sleeping.

* Children will immediately gravitate to the most dangerous item in the room.

* Shoes are the anchor of an outfit. Without them, socks, pants and shirts all come off eventually.

* The more expensive the toy is, the more exciting the box it came in is.

* While running is fun... streaking is the best!!

* Even if you don't think you are sleepy...you really are sleepy.

* They will love the hat in the store, but immediately throw it on the ground once you get outside.

* A toddler can somehow figure out how to get to the 'contacts list' on your cell phone and dial the person you least want to speak to.

* The cup a drink is served in is very, very important.

* The droolier the face, the more kisses they want to give you.

* The toilet is almost as fun as the tub.

* If one child _* fill in the blank*__ , your child must also _ *fill in the blank*_ , but louder and with more conviction.

* If left alone for 5 minutes, a toddler will learn how to use the TV remote ...even if you can't.

* Toddlers will babble and giggle non-stop, until Grandma calls - then it's complete silence.

* The best, most fun, most exciting toy in the world is the toy the other kid has.

* The moment you leave the daycare place, they forget why they were crying.

* When screaming or throwing a tantrum, jazz hands are a must! [see image -left]

* The dog will move faster than you thought possible the moment you give your child a piece of cheese.

* The one toy you are looking for is the only toy that is not in the middle of the living room floor.

Things I have learned

Things I have learned as a parent:

* A toddler's reach is always half an inch closer than you thought it was.

* No amount of hair gel or mousse works as well at holding hair in place as a handful of slimy pasta.

* If pressing a button on a toy results in a phrase that is longer than 3 seconds, you will never, ever hear the complete phrase.

* Toddlers understand everything you say to them, unless it starts with "No.."

* Any food can be spit onto the floor and dogs will eat anything regardless of how slimy it is.

* A diaper and/or onesie is the equivalent of a toddler purse.

* Bowel movements can defy gravity (sorry, I had to say it).

* If you don't want to be held, arch your back.

* Just because you love a food one day, doesn't mean you will tolerate it the next.

* If you can get a knee on it, it can be climbed on.

* No house has enough storage higher than three feet from the floor.

* It's fun to roll off the dog / jump off the chair / hide in the cupboard.

* It's not fun to get knocked over by the dog / fall off the chair / or get stuck in the cupboard.

* The dirtier the clothes, the more a toddler wants to wear them.

* The only things that are fun to bang on are whatever things your parents are trying to use.

* Most falls don't make you cry, unless someone is looking.

* You don't have to have a cold in oder to have an endless supply of snot running down your face.

Riding the Guard Coaster

**Welcome to Winter Guard. Please keep your hands and

feet inside the car for the duration of the ride**

One of the things I haven't blogged about lately is winter guard. If you read my first several entries (before Hailey was born), I mention it often. I've sprinkled bits and pieces of it throughout my postings and written about some of the joys and frustration of being involved.

For whatever reason, I have not mentioned anything about winter guard this year - and that seems odd to me. If you were to see me on a semi-regular basis, I talk about it a lot (everyone take a moment to feel bad for my husband). It particularly puzzles me because this year I am in charge. The past four years, I have been mainly a design consultant who also could jump in and help the occasional performer. Now however, I run practice - 3 hours, 10 kids and most of the time I run it by myself. I get them to shows, organize parents do paperwork - anything that needs to be done. I do have a lot of help: a great writer who gave us a brilliant show, incredible parents who are willing to do whatever it takes and a wonderful group of kids (99% of the time).

This season has been one of the biggest roller coaster rides I can remember, I've learned a lot from it...

#1. Kids need to slow down - some kids do so much...so many activities, so much school work. I truly believe that everyone should be involved in something they enjoy - whether it is school related or not. Finding something you love to do brings joy into your life. However, that doesn't mean that the more you do, the more joy you have. Sometimes juggling 5 activities is not better, its just more. While I've seen some kids that can handle it, most of them just add stress to their lives. I don't know that kids with so much on their plates ever truly appreciate what each activity has to teach them.

#2. I've learned that the 'bad cop' is usually the one who gets things done. I've always been the good cop -always. I don't think I could ever be the bad cop, it's not in my nature. This year, my unwavering faith in the concept of 'lead by example' has definitely wavered. Some days, having fun and working hard are like two totally different ships traveling in opposite directions - you have to choose to board one or the other and they never end in the same place. Days like that are completely draining and can immediately suck the happiness out of me.

#3. There is no activity in the world that can take the place of parental involvement. Period. I don't think I even need to elaborate on that.

#4. There is inside me an inexhaustible supply of patience, frustration, pride, irritation and love for these kids and this activity - and it can all be felt at the exact same time. As much as I sometimes want to curl up in a ball and fantasize about this season being over, when April comes, I am going to feel sadness as well as relief. I'm going to MISS these kids -they are pretty amazing. I am going to MISS this activity, it has brought me so much personal growth and satisfaction.

Like a roller coaster, the season has its ups and downs - its exciting and fun but at times makes me completely sick to my stomach. It's over in the blink of an eye, but you still want to go on again even though you know its going to scare the daylights out of you.

**Please do not exit until the ride has come to a complete stop**