What really matters

Christmas is now on the horizon, and it doesn't seem very cheery this year.

I have heard it from a lot of people... that this Christmas doesn't have the same feel to it as years past. Read the news and all you hear about is economic hardship, low retail sales, unemployment, people are depressed, the weather is awful...

What is there to be merry about this year?

Economic times are tough...yes...but I can't control that...what I can control is my own life and my attitude toward it. It's true, there are less gifts under my tree this year...but since when is my happiness dependent on how many Christmas gifts I get - or give? Is having 10 less gifts under the tree going to make my Christmas dinner taste bad? Is missing my holiday shopping trips going to make me not enjoy spending time with my family on Christmas day? If the weather is snowy and family can't come, doesn't it mean more to know that they are safe?

I think that lately, people's perspective has been out-of-whack (including mine). We have forgotten what Christmas is really about.

Top 10 things I am thankful for this Christmas (in no particular order):

1 and 2. Hailey and Nathan. Hailey has grown and thrived this past year, she is healthy, smart, funny...I couldn't ask for anything more. Nathan has been wonderful this year, he's so good with Hailey...I don't think he really knows how much I appreciate everything he does.

3. My family. Things might not be totally ideal for all of us right now, but we are healthy, I think we are generally happy and still love spending time with each other. I know of other families that can't stand the sight of each other, so I feel fortunate that we are all still close. I love all of them very much.

4. My job. I have developed closer relationships with my co-workers this year, and that makes work that much more meaningful. I have challenged myself on certain endeavors and generally been pleased with the results.

5. Art Bayou. My friend Palee's success with her new shop....sometimes I still can't believe she really did it. This was a dream she had talked about for so long, and then she took the chance and really made it happen. I'm proud of her.

6. Marching band. The past fall season with the marching band, I had a lot of fun, made some great new friends, and finally got to go to DCI finals. The whole season was a shot in the arm and just confirmed why I love the activity. The fact that I could excuse myself for the winter season has really brought my daughter and I closer together, I appreciate that.

7. Facebook. Yes, believe it or not. This year I have reconnected with a group of people from college that I love very dearly, but had quietly slipped from my life. Through Facebook, we have started rebuilding friendships and I find they can still all make me laugh, just like they did 20 years ago. Plus...I get to keep track of my guard kids who have graduated, or who I don't see very much.

8. My health. So...I'm not going to go out and run a marathon anytime soon, but it could be a lot worse. Plus, the part of my health that could use some improvement...I have the power to change myself, not everyone can say that.

9. My friends. I might not get a chance to see all of them as much as I would like, but I have such a great feeling of support from all of them - it's nice to know that there is always someone there who has got your back.

10. Daycare. I can't tell you how much stress is taken off your shoulders when you have a daycare person that you trust 100%. Leaving the most important person in your world with someone else for that long is...well...a panic-enduing thought. I'm glad we have someone whom I know truly loves our daughter.

Before getting upset about what this Christmas season is lacking, take a lesson from Thanksgiving (the forgotten holiday)...and list the things that you are thankful for. Take the time you would use getting depressed over the newspaper and spend it making someone else happy by telling people how much you care about them.

Count your blessings Christmas Day, and not the presents under the tree.

That will guarantee you a Merry Christmas!

Bring on Christmas

OK... Thanksgiving is over and I am a little more in the mood for Christmas. Why? you ask...well several reasons.

I was one of those crazy people who woke up at a ridiculous time of the morning to go shopping on Black Friday. I didn't have any particular bargain that I was hunting for, or really any gift in mind....I just went with my pal Jamie for something to do, and if I got some things in the meantime, great. Those of you who have not been out to shop yet may want to stop reading here...

I'm 95% done shopping on the first day of December. WOO HOO!
That fact alone makes my holidays a lot brighter!

Another reason I am in the mood, is that my daughter was in rare form over Thanksgiving. She was so good, and so cute. At my parent's house for dinner, she stripped down to her diaper and her pink, sparkly tu-tu skirt...she's so funny. My nephew and Hailey played a game of pillow tag that I wish I had gotten on film. She cuddled and played with everyone and was a really good girl all weekend. PLUS...on Thanksgiving Day, she pooped in the toilet for the first time - self motivated and with a dry diaper. I may have been the only one giving thanks for toddler poop at the holiday meal, but it was heartfelt and sincere.

Lastly, I came to work today and got the 'Getting to Know You at Xmas' e-mail from my best friends.

I filled it out, and realized how much I really do like the holidays. So I will end this blog entry with my answers to... Getting to Know You at Xmas

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags for big or awkward stuff – otherwise paper
2. Real tree or Artificial? Prefer real, but have artificial because of the toddler
3. When do you put up the tree? Two-ish weeks before Christmas
4. When do you take the tree down? First week of January
5. Do you like eggnog? Not really, but I'll have some if requested of me.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? I think the first video game system ever made – Kevin bought it for Ken and I (see image) it was amazing!
7. Hardest person to buy for? Kevin
9. Do you have a nativity scene? No – but I have an entire Christmas village.
10. Mail or email Christmas card? Mail (please, even I wouldn't e-mail Christmas)
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Can't divulge that here :)
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Charlie Brown Christmas / Year without a Santa Claus
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? In November – I’m almost done now
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I recycled a wedding gift as a Christmas gift
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Not sure – Thanksgiving is the best meal of the year.
16. Lights on the tree? Of course – I have white, but I'm bored with that.
17. Favorite Christmas song? What Child is This
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home in the morning, afternoon at the parent’s
19. Can you name all 9 of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel that my mother and I made together
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas day? Depends, sometimes we open the In-laws gifts on Christmas Eve
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The crowds
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? My favorite ornaments on my tree are Hailey's first Christmas and the 3 that Palee has made for me. On the tree when I was growing up, it was the reindeer bell ornament.

24. Favorite Christmas cookie? Not a cookie eater – but I do like fudge
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Earrings and to watch my daughter open her Spongebob pajamas (I can't wait)

November Updates

Some quick Hailey updates...

I am taking a season off from my beloved winter guard activity to spend more time with Hailey, Nathan and myself. While it makes me sad not to be involved this season, I'm glad they can continue the activity and I am grateful to spend time with my family. For example....

Sunday afternoon (November 16th) we had our first real snowfall of the season - the big white flakes. Now, Hailey is 2, so this isn't her first winter...but its the first winter where she has been really aware of her surroundings and able to communicate - the snowflakes were 'bubbles'. It was darn cute. Monday evening, it was still snowing so we took her on a walk around the neighborhood. "Look at all the bubbles!" and she had her mouth wide open the whole time trying to catch them...that was priceless. It was one of those moments you remember.

I would have missed that if I was at winter guard this year.

Let's see...what else is she doing...oh, she's much more into sharing lately. The other day she picked her nose and offered me the booger. That was awesome...yeah...awesome.

She ADORES Sponge Bob Squarepants. She has some Sponge Bob videos and she could watch them all day if we'd let her. All in all, I knew she would get addicted to some character (this is the first of many I'm sure) and I can handle Sponge Bob, I think its funny. She also loves Tigger and Pooh and her Dr. Suess video with Green Eggs and Ham (Sneetches...etc.). I try to stay away from getting her clothes marketed with kid's tv show characters all over them, but invariably, her favorite shirt has Thomas the Train on it. I may have to give in and get her some Sponge Bob pjs for Christmas.

Christmas...I'm already a little 'Bah Humbug' this year. Several of my most favorite traditions are going by the wayside this year, and I am a little bummed out about it. These are shopping traditions and my family and friends are 'cutting back' this year (they say that every year, but this time they mean it), so we just aren't going to do the annual trips this year. Luckily, we do have Hailey... little kids put life the joy and excitement back into the holidays... so I'm sure I'll get over the blahs the closer it gets to Christmas.

I think this is my favorite single comic of all times.
The only thing this picture is missing is a 70 pound dog licking everything in sight, and that would be my house on any given day.

Arrgghhh... Matey!

As I said in my previous post... October completely snuck past me. Does that mean that I overlooked Halloween...the best holiday ever?!?

Of course not. I love, love, love Halloween! It is by far the most creative of all holidays, plus you get candy! Truly awesome!

The past couple of years, I have dressed Hailey in a store-bought costume and admittedly... they have been adorable! However, this year I decided to get all 'old school' and pull an outfit together myself. Well, not completely...thanks to my mother for the amazing, handmade skull and crossbones skirt!

'Skull and Crossbones?' you say..."What could Hailey possibly have been?"

O.K. maybe it's not that hard to guess she was a pirate for her 3rd Halloween. She was SO CUTE! At times she looked a little more Hell's Angel than pirate, but the idea was there. She loved putting on her pirate skirt. Whenever she did, she suddenly developed a somewhat alarming butt wiggle and she spun in circles until she fell over- if that isn't pirate behavior, then I don't know what is.

We did go Trick-or-Treating to a few houses this year. Luckily, we knew who they were, because when they opened the door to give her candy, she just walked right in. Maybe that's Hailey's version of pillaging.
__________________
In other Hailey news...

We have been trying to get her to stop relying on her pacifier, so we took the doctor's suggestion and cut the tips off them. It works, she hates them. She says..."Plug's broken" and throws them. Yesterday, she was given a 'broken plug' at daycare, and she looked at it and said...'Damn It'.

Great. So it begins. At least she used it in the proper context. I don't know where she heard that * I say, as I polish my halo *, but it is really hard not to laugh.
___________________
Plus...

She had her 2 year appointment with the doctor and she had to have a lead test done. This consisted of the nurse poking Hailey's toe to get blood and then squeezing enough to completely blot two dime-sized circles. It took about 5 minutes of the nurse squeezing Hailey's bloody toe and was horrifically traumatic for her (Hailey and the nurse). So...two weeks later when they called and told us the sample corrupted and we had to do it again, we were less than pleased. But, it had to get done so we took her to the hospital. There, they drew blood from her arm - much less time and pain, but still no picnic (Hailey thought is was 'water' coming out of her arm). Imagine our anger when the hospital called two days later to tell us that it was processed incorrectly and we would have to have another one done.

Nathan was so ticked off, he could barely talk to the woman.

Oh, we'll have it done again...but not right now. Being constantly poked with a needle is too much for a 2 year old...

even if she is a pirate.

more pictures of Hailey can be seen by clicking on 'Y Spot Photos' in the left -hand menu.

Hailey and History

Holy cow!

October is gone... and I just let it slip through my fingers. It's my favorite of all the months - fall colors, Halloween, sweaters, marching bands - I let it go without a single post... *sigh*.

Well I suppose I had my hands full reading all the election literature I was getting. I am so happy that is over with! Regardless of how you voted, America made an historical decision yesterday in record numbers. In talking with people who were around in the 60's, they say it feels a lot like the Camelot era, I can see that.... lets just all hope it has a much better ending. I do have to say that McCain conceded with grace and I appreciate someone who shows that they have class.

We have elected an African American as president. I think this is the first really major historical event that has happened since Hailey was born in 2006 (my first major happening is easy to remember...I was born 10 days before we landed on the moon). Of course she won't remember this, in the same way that I don't remember Watergate or people might not remember Pearl Harbor.

I forget sometimes that there are major events that have happened and she will have no frame of reference, except second hand. When I was in school, I read quite a bit about the Kennedy assassination, but reading and living it are so different. My mother has told me about November 22, 1963, but I will obviously never have the same feelings about it that she does. I could only experience it academically. Hailey will live her life never having 'felt' September 11, 2001...she will read about it and understand it - possibly with more perspective than I will ever have, but it will still be a chapter in a history book to her. That boggles my mind. Sure... I will be able to tell her 'where I was when I heard the news', but will I ever be able to explain how it felt? Can I even put it into words?

So...in honor of this momentous historical occasion and to help me put together a list of things I will need to tell Hailey about someday, here are the major historical events that I can remember where I was when I heard the news.

Reagan is Shot (March 30th, 1981) Our elementary school principal announced it over the loudspeaker. The way he said it, I at first thought there was a gunman outside the school - I was scared silly.

The Space Shuttle Challenger Explodes (January 28, 1986) I was watching it live in the library of my high school with my chemistry class (my teacher had applied to the 'Teachers in Space' program). I have never seen a room full of students go so quiet, so quickly. .

OJ Simpson Declared Innocent (October 3, 1995) Is this a monumental historic event...? No. But I still remember looking at the bank teller at the drive in window and seeing her utter a very naughty expletive. I knew she was listening to the same radio station I was.

Princess Diana Dies (August 31, 1997) I was watching the news from the stairway at my parent's home after helping my oldest brother move to a new house. I logged into a chat room and told people, but nobody believed me.

9-11 (September 11, 2001) Sitting at my desk like millions of other Americans (like the people in NY and DC) when I got an e-mail from someone at work about the Pentagon, I checked the online news and went numb.

First African American President (November 4th, 2008) voting after taking Hailey to daycare and checking the news on my basement computer between playing a game and trying to get Hailey to fall asleep. I will have the picture of him from ABC.com with the words 'Mr. President' in my memory for a long time.

I know other important events happened - these are just the 'moments in time' that stick out for me. Hopefully, the future will have more moments to remember like the one that happened yesterday... and less of the others. I'd like to think that with each event, we become a little wiser even if we loose some innocence along the way. It's funny how the tragedies that you remember, feel like moments where you grew up... and the joyus events can make you feel hopeful like a kid again.

I hope that, in the future, when Hailey hears the moments in which history changes...she hears cheering and not silence. I hope that when she tells her children about the things they don't remember... she can find the words.

Chicken Quesadilla

I usually try to update this blog once or twice a month, but September has almost rolled right on by without me noticing. I've been very busy both at work and outside of work. I am again working with the PNHS marching band, which has taken up more of my time than I anticipated...plus I am helping out my friend Palee with her new business (Art Bayou), a paint-your-own pottery shop. Palee's shop is amazing - if you are located in Kalamazoo...you need to go check it out, it's lots of fun!

Hailey has been pretty well behaved lately. I won't go as far as saying that her daycare bullying days are over, but she doesn't hit nearly as much as she used to. Actually, she has been showing more and more empathy for the other kids when they are upset. Hailey even tries to comfort them when they are crying..she's a 'good friend'. However, I don't think she is going to give up her throne as 'Queen of Daycare' any time soon, she's still the alpha dog of the pack and she knows it. Apparently, during daycare lunches, Hailey has to sit at the head of the table and is the 'lunchroom monitor'. She makes sure the other kids behave (so...she does act like mom every so often!).


She has learned a lot of new words lately - that has got to be the best thing about toddlers - hearing them say new words! Everything that comes out of their mouths is so adorable! The best one so far is 'Chicken Quesadilla' (apparently she and dad had Mexican food the other night). But what amazes us, is how clearly she enunciates when she speaks (Chik-n-Kay-suh-Dee-A) - there usually isn't any doubt what she is trying to tell you. Sure...she mumbles and makes up words - but if it is important to her, she's going to tell you about it...clearly and often!

She also is counting on her fingers - not always correctly but she gets better every time. Daycare is starting to work with her on her colors, so I expect to hear those very soon.


October is right around the corner, and I already know what she is going to be for Halloween! I am going out on a limb this year and making her costume (with some help - thanks mom!). Someday I have to learn how to sew...someday when months like September pass a little more slowly.

Party Two!

I just wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone who came to Hailey's birthday party last week, and thank you for all the wonderful gifts...I promise you, every single one of them is currently strewn all over the living room floor!

A little party update for those who couldn't join us...the house was packed, the food was good (potato salad...yum!), the cake was a pink ladybug and the birthday girl was....spoiled! She was a really good girl all day though - particularly for not getting a nap.

Some pictures from the festivities can be found here on my photo page:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/theyspot/

Along with a video of Hailey eating blueberries and a photo of my friend Palee's new pottery studio!

Enjoy!

Two Year Portraits

A couple of pictures from Hailey's two year portrait sitting.

It just doesn't get any cuter than that!

Hailey's Turning Two

So...this Sunday, we officially begin the journey into the 'terrible twos'.

Here is: Letter to my Daughter On Turning Two.
____________________________________________

Dear Hailey -

You will be entering into your 'Terrible Twos' in a few days, so here is your annual birthday letter to mark the occasion.

The age of two is a time that parents traditionally fear, when they see their sweet baby turn into a little person full of arguments and contradictions. They envision an immediate future filled with tantrums and time-outs waiting for them. Maybe they are looking ahead and dreading the war on potty training or the constant battles of wills with a cranky toddler.

I want you to know...that is not what I see when I look at you.

• When I watch you argue with me - I see you asserting yourself and developing independence.
• When you change your mind - I see you beginning to understand who you are and what you want.
• When I see you in a time out - I see you learning responsibility for your actions..
• ...and when you apologize - I see compassion.

It might not always be obvious to me at the time, but I do see it.

You are full of crazy contradictions that make me laugh. I see a girl who is so concerned about her appearance that the wrong clothing choice will set her screaming, but who still doesn't like her hair to be brushed. You are a toddler who loves to have water dumped on her head during a bath, but milk spilled on your foot will make you run to Daddy.

It's not only what I can see, but what I can hear as well. You are no longer just repeating words said to you, but starting conversations all on your own. Single words are becoming phrases and sentences. You respond to questions with understanding. Like the great moments in history, I remember exactly where we were and what we were doing the first time I realized I was actually communicating with you... and I almost cried. You say the terms 'please', 'thank you' and 'bless you'... not because we ask, but because you know you should.

As you play with your toys, I can watch your incredible imagination beginning to take shape. When we read your books, I can see every connection you are making by the look on your face. You are putting together ideas with the world around you... and it is as amazing to watch as the miracle of birth itself. When I was pregnant I was excited at the prospect of seeing you...but now I feel like I see a new you every single day.

I see: a comedian, a daredevil, a warrior, a dancer, a perfectionist, a tomboy and a princess. I see a lot of your daddy, a little of me and you as no one else could be. Mostly, I see my daughter, beautiful on the inside as well as the outside and I see how much a part of me you are. Watching your child grow, develop and become an individual is the most amazing and frightening experience a parent can have. I can't put to words how proud and privileged I feel to be a witness to the beginning of the person you will become.

For me, the only thing that is terrible about you being two, is that it can't last forever.

I Love You Hailey Bug - Mommy

Too Fast!

O.K. - Hailey is officially growing up way too fast! She turns two years old in less than two weeks, and every night we pick her up from daycare, I am amazed at what she knows.

She communicates so well now. If I thought it felt strange when she started to parrot words and understand their meaning, I am now completely flabbergasted when she initiates the conversation herself. She talks so much now that writing down the words she knows is impossible. Even with the incredible volume of things she says now, there are some things that stand out...

* She often calls her daddy "Nate" - which I think is the cutest thing ever.

* If you sneeze, she will say 'Bless You'

* She loves to sing - 'Row Row Row Your Boat' and 'Itsy Bitsy Spider'.

* She is very good with 'Thank You' but 'Please' often needs a reminder.

Unfortunately, she has also discovered the dirtiest four letter word in history..."MINE"

I really hate that word.

Potty training is back on again. She will grab your hand and say 'potty' four times in an hour - and the crazy thing is that she really goes... four times an hour. When she does potty, she screams at the top of her lungs with excitement, and sings "Go Hailey, Go Hailey, Go...Go...Go Hailey" ** note to self - I must get video of that. Up to this point, we haven't done one ounce of potty training, she just naturally took to it - number 2 is still an issue, but that will come in time.

Besides going potty, she also loves taking baths, washing her hands (after potty), and brushing her teeth with toothpaste.

I know this age goes by fast. I look at infants and sometimes wish that she was a baby again, so I could snuggle with her for hours. However, even with the 'mines' and the tantrums and her opinions about things (that have suddenly appeared) - watching her interact with the world around her has been the best time of my life.

'THAT' child.

We had another pretty good weekend, our power stayed on (which is a nice bonus lately), the weather was good, and we threw a big party for my brother-in-law's 30th birthday. All in all, it was a decent, but not relaxing weekend.

However, last week...

last week we had a 'moment'...

last week we had an 'issue'...(curious yet?)

Last week we had our first, really bad... public tantrum.

When I say really bad, I'm not exaggerating (as I am genetically prone to sometimes). It was a total Chernobyl meltdown. How I carried her out of the store as she was attacking my head like a wildcat, I'll never know. We sat in the parking lot for an eternity trying to get her into that car seat. I even had toddler tantrum snot on the ceiling of my car.

I remember the days when I was single, or the days when I was happily married yet childless...when I would watch a child throw a gut-busting, fist-flinging, public tantrum and think to myself...

"I would never let MY CHILD act like that in public"

Heh...live and learn. In fact, I learned several things about tantrums during the 45 minutes she screamed her head off last week.

#1. It doesn't matter how good your child is, they WILL have a PDM (Public Display of Mad) eventually. I don't care if your child fell from the heavens on a white fluffy cloud sporting billowy soft angel wings - every toddler becomes 'THAT child' eventually. Hailey has always been good in public...always! O.K., there was one time that she flung a plate like a frisbee at Red Robin, but honestly, 99% of the time she is really patient. However, everyone has bad days. I guess at 2 years old, not getting a nap is equivalent to an adult getting a flat tire on their way to a job interview.

#2. It isn't always the parent's fault. That was an epiphany for me. In the past I would watch other parents handle their own PDM problems and assume they asked something unreasonable of their child or they had just lost their patience and done something insensitive, or they just were ignoring their kid. I really thought that if you took time to understand the deeper meanings behind misbehaviour, you could diffuse it. Maybe that is still the case - in some situations. However...I didn't do anything... she just lost it. I gave her choices, I was patient, I tried distracting her, asked her questions, let her cry it out, everything...but I also stood my ground and that is what her problem was. Even if I had wanted to give in I couldn't have, because I didn't know why she was crying in the first place.

#3. If you can 'tag-team' a PDM, do it! I was very fortunate to have 'daycare Jamie' with me. I describe her as daycare Jamie instead of 'my friend Jamie' only because I have lots of friends who, if they had been with me, would have looked at at Hailey like a hot potato (as I would have 3 years ago). Daycare Jamie not only has battle hardened tantrum experience, she also understands my daughter like no one else (beyond her dad and I) can. I dealt with as much of the uproar as I could, but there came a time when I just had to walk away... *tag* Jamie is in the ring. If not for that, I probably would have started crying myself. Plus, I had the added benefit of having her reassure me that not giving in was the best thing I could do - even when I felt like nothing I was doing was right.

#4. If the tantrum is long enough, or embarrassing enough, there comes a time when you begin to wonder if parenting was a wise choice for you. While that may sound like a joke, it's only because you are not reading this with a fussy baby or a sleepy toddler screaming in your ear. You really start to second guess some of your decisions - "should I have bought the toy?" "should I have left the store?" "Will I ever want to leave the house again before this child is old enough to vote?". I can reassure you - that is your frustration talking. Don't believe me...? Later that same night, sneak in and watch your child sleeping... ask yourself again if it is worth it.

Tantrums, like everything else, will pass. Battles will be won, and lost, perceptions will change. The next time I see another parent dealing with a PDM, I will not roll my eyes and assume they are inept. Instead I will raise my fist in the air and shout "Stay Strong Brother!" Because behind every tantrum is a parent who is holding their ground. For every crying child, there is an adult who has learned about patience, hard work and respecting others. At the end of the day, you are the one that is responsible, not for your child's behavior, but for the lessons you teach them when they aren't behaving.

We have the Power!

Well we had a wonderful week - that started out wonderfully bad!

Early on Wednesday evening, a storm blew through our area and of course... our house lost power...yet again. There must be something about the power grid we are located on - thunderstorms can pick it out like a tiger eyeing the slowest gazelle. It's irritating...and it always seems to happen around someone's birthday (remember Hailey's first birthday last year...?).

Despite the loss of power, Thursday afternoon, we joined a daycare outing to a place called 'Jungle Joe's'. It is a giant warehouse full of inflatable bouncers and slides - otherwise known as 'Hailey Heaven'! It was so much fun! She was literally running from one slide to the next. Thank God Nathan got the time off, because climbing to the tops of these slides with Hailey in one arm was no easy feat! Hailey even got her first kiss at Jungle Joe's! A little boy named Ethan was there, and she chased him all over the place. I didn't have my camera ready for the first kiss, but Ethan's dad helped prompt a second one.



Because of the storm, we spent part of the Fourth of July weekend as nomads. Thursday night, we 'camped out' at my parents (who spend our nation's birthday in Canada every year...hmmm). When we arrived at their house, Hailey spoke her first sentence. She walked around the kitchen, shrugging her shoulders, repeating "Where'd they go?" Needless to say, my parents are thrilled.

Our Fourth of July started out at the zoo this year. The weather was perfect for a zoo visit and we had a ton of fun. Hailey fed the giraffes and goats and we got to see a baby snow leopard...so cute!! Our evening ended up at our friends Park and Emmy's house for a very tasty barbecue. Our power came on and because that was enough of a celebration for us... no fireworks for Hailey this year (she was exhausted anyway).

Saturday, Nathan and I kept the July tradition of loosing a cell phone and getting new ones - so we spent the morning at the AT&T store. After that, Nathan and Hailey then headed north for a family anniversary celebration and I went to a drum corps show with friends. It was a little hot outside, but a fine time was had by all.

Sunday was spent recuperating from Thursday-Saturday...and restocking our refrigerator.

So the potentially disastrous weekend turned out to be a lot of fun...
even without electricity, we had the power to change our attitudes and make it a great time!

More pictures from the weekend are at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/theyspot/

Un-Adoptable

So I get a call from daycare today that Hailey has been put in a special 'time out'. Apparently she can't keep her paws off her friends and she just laughs when you put her in her regular time out. As a result, Miss Jamie put her in her [play]pen -with no toys, blanket or binky - for 'behavior reflection time'.

Hailey is eating with a spoon all by herself now and doesn't like to be interrupted. I called during lunchtime to see how she was doing. My girl was enjoying her smushed carrots so much that when Jamie took the cup to scoop the last bit for her, Hailey threw serious 'hissy-fit'. I could hear it...through the phone...she was loud...and mad!

Hailey has even lost some interest in potty training. Sitting on the big girl potty isn't as exciting as it used to be - the potty express has slowed way down.


So while talking to Jamie today I realized that my daughter:

• Can't keep her paws off her friends
• Had to be placed in her pen for playing rough
• Is food aggressive
• Is not house-broken
  
  According to the ASPCA - if Hailey was a puppy, she would be un-adoptable.

Go Hailey!

According to daycare, Hailey sat on the potty yesterday and sang:

"Go Hailey, Go Hailey, Go... Go.... Go Hailey!"

Potty training just doesn't get any better than that.

The Flip Side

Things have been going along really nicely lately...days are a little predictable, but that isn't always a bad thing. Some exciting things are happening in my extended world...just enough to keep life interesting, but not anything that demands a time commitment (unless I want it). It is always times like this when things are comfortable, that my mind wanders into less idyllic realizations...

it's still really hard to be a working mom.

Hang on, hang on...it is better than it used to be. A lot of time has passed since those first days apart, and I am much better about being a working mom... 90% of the time. I no longer cry as I drive into work - that has to get me some bonus points! Besides, Hailey has an independent streak that (to be honest) sometimes I am glad to have a break from.

But on a day like today, a Friday...nice weather, general good mood - Hailey gets to go to the zoo for the first time. I have to work. I had a meeting in the afternoon and work to catch up on. I just couldn't justify taking another day off...regardless of the weather. She is going with a group of adults...all of whom I trust, no problem there. My daycare lady really deserves to have this outing, she works very hard and is great with the kids. It will be nice for her, not only have someone to help, but also to have adults to talk to today. I really hope they have a great time!

But there is a flip side too...I'm missing it, and it makes me sad, really sad. Regardless of how much I hope they have fun... there is another part of me that didn't want it to happen at all. I wanted to go too, I wanted to take Hailey to the zoo. I should be there. As a working mom, I knew that I was risking experiencing a lot of firsts for myself, but that is the way it has to be - I've come to terms with that. This feels like something that I should be able to control, regardless how innocent it is.

I know this isn't about Hailey, it's about me. It's totally about what Momma wants. The fact that I understand that, is the reason why she is going to the zoo without me today (plus... Jamie is a friend and really does deserve it). Jealousy can be ugly, its not something I want people to believe about me. I didn't want people to see the selfish flip side - the Mr. Hyde to my Dr. Jekyll. As a result, I almost didn't blog about this at all.

But there it is - and denying it feels like some kind of lie. Apparently that feeling is also a part of motherhood. You can't be there for everything - events that should be in your control aren't always - your children will have experiences you don't share in, even when they are little. There are things you feel when you are a parent that don't seem to fit the mold of what you imagined. I expected some fear and worry, but not jealously, loneliness and certainly not selfishness. They will sneak up on you when every thing is going smoothly and the days are predictable...even on a beautiful Friday afternoon.

I wish every post I made could be a cute update or a funny story...but its not like that. If I didn't write about the flip side, I don't think this blog would be worth reading.

Curly Girl

Here are some new pictures of Hailey and the halo of blond curls around her head.

The heart-pounding excitement of potty training has worn down. She still likes to sit on the potty, but she doesn't really go. She loves getting toilet paper and washing her hands afterwards. I knew she wasn't going to be instantly trained - I'm just glad she isn't afraid of the potty.

Hailey is now VERY good at saying 'thank you' when you do something for her. I grabbed her blanket this morning as she made her way to the kitchen and when she realized she had forgotten it, I handed it to her and she looked me right in the eye and said "dak ew". We still have to prompt her for 'please' and she really doesn't like to say 'sorry' - but she does.

She still won't let me put 'hair pretties' in (ponytails, pigtails), but Miss Jamie is a pro at it and she often comes back from daycare with a cute hairdo. Every time mom tries, I get the head-shaking "NOOoooo" whine. Mom just isn't fast enough.

She is getting really good at feeding herself with the spoon! Holy cow, I didn't realize how super convenient it is to be able to put a bowl of food down, cover every inch of her body in vinyl bib, give her a spoon and let her go to town. We can actually make our own food while she eats. That's better than sliced bread! My only problem now is getting dried applesauce off the dining room walls.

She is really just a full-fledged toddler - super cute and into everything. I never really gave much thought to what being a mom would be like but here it is:

When I am with her, I'm so exhausted and tired that I just want to sit down and have a moment for myself. When I am not with her, I miss her like crazy and call daycare just to hear her say 'Hi Mommy'. She's amazing, frustrating, funny, tiring, cute and stubborn. It is easy to get irritated when you are trying to do something and she is leaning all over you...until you realize that she just wants to touch you, be near you...and those years are unfortunately way too short. So mommy-hood is just being caught in this glorious cycle of contradictions - a constant stream of work that makes me crazy...but I would be crazier without it.

My Big Girl!

Just a quick post here... I don't have a lot of time, but I am too excited to not write this down.

My daughter understands the potty!!! We haven't really been working on actual potty training, but we have been working to get her to tell us when she needs a diaper change. If her diaper is really bad, she will grab your hand and lead you to her changing table. Often, she'll just play the 'I'm an indecisive two-year-old' card and tell you she's not wet when she is.

Today however, she took Nathan's hand, led him....not to the nursery...but to the bathroom, and said 'Poop'. She let Daddy hold her over the toilet and she made a valiant pushing effort (with no result).

I'm so excited!

• She understands what the toilet is for!
• She's not afraid of it!
• She told Daddy instead of us asking her if she is messy!

And...this is the biggie...

• She told him BEFORE she went. She actually recognized the feeling of having to go to the bathroom and put that together with the toilet. She's only 21 months old.

I'm so proud of her! We are going out after work to get 'potty accessories.'

Tonight, We shall feast!!!

Potty Party at Hailey's House!

* note * - later on in the day, Daddy helped her really use the potty! She pulled down her own pants and went #1 on the big girl seat! She's going to be easier to potty train than the dog!

Goodbye Rain!

Hey everyone - today was the last and final performance of the 2008 PHNS Winter Guard (we performed a 'recruitment' show for the 8th grade kids). It has been over a month since I have seen this show performed and I feel like I have some things to say... (you'll have to excuse me for a second while I speak directly to my kids)...

~TOWN MEETING~

#1. I LOVED this show. Everything worked so well together - music, work, colors, floor...it just makes me happy every time I watch the video! I can't believe that we just put this show to bed and we'll never perform it again - I am feeling very sad right now! :( For me, 'Every Time It Rains' is right up there with 2005's pilot show as the best year ever.

#2. WG Rookies (Kassie, Megan, & Jori - yes you are technically a WG rookie) - you totally blew me away this year! Winter guard can be a very daunting challenge, but you three amazed me with your talent. This really has been the first year that you could not pick out the rookies. I can't wait to see what you guys bring to the guard next year!

#3. Seniors (Jon, Mitchell, Emily, Emmalee, Becca) - I don't know what to say except that I am going to miss you guys. All of you are so talented...my hope is that you find some way to continue spinning in the future, groups need performers like you. However, if today was the last show you do, I hope you look back on the experience as something that made your time at PN that much more amazing.

#4. Juniors - I hope you guys are ready to step up to the plate and show all the rookies what it takes to be in PN's color guard! You are going to be really important next year!

#5. Everyone - I can't tell you how proud I was to be your director this year! I started spinning over 20 years ago, and I have a lot of good memories - this year has been the icing on the cake. We all got along so well together, it was really refreshing not to have any 'clicks'. I'm as close to this group as I have been with anyone I have ever spun with.

I don't mean to leave out those that didn't spin winter guard who are graduating - Kelsey, Kate, Angie... you all have really made my continuing guard experiences fun and rewarding!

You all mean a great deal to me and I hope you continue to stay in contact with me.

Yay!

Uncle Kevin teaching Hailey to...dance?

How cute is that?

Hailey Jolie Pitt?

Someone commented to us the other day that Hailey looks a lot like Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's daughter).

Meh...

I think Hailey is cuter...

Lessons from the Toddler

Lessons From the Toddler

* Any kind of food (or drink) can be aerodynamic.

* It's easier to run without pants on.

* When something makes you giggle, The 500th time is just as funny as the first time.

* "No" and "Yes" mean the same thing when you don't understand the question.

* The dog's drinking bowl is like a mini water park.

* It's more fun to watch movies without pants on .

* Walking past a waging dog tail is like going through a car wash with the top down.

* You swear the diaper you just changed is the worst thing you've ever smelled - until the next one.

* Dancing doesn't always require music.

* It is possible to eat stew when holding the spoon upside-down.

* Spinning around until you are dizzy is best played near the coffee table.

* Spinning around is more fun without pants on.

* When one of your parents lies down on the floor they are fair game.

* There is no such thing as 'spill-proof'.

* The dirtiest words in a limited toddler vocabulary are 'Time Out'.

* You can say 'Hi' to anything, the phone, your milk, your Dad, a shoe.....

* In general, everything is much more pleasant without your pants on.

Mother's Day Moments

Now that I am a full fledged mom, I've noticed significant changes in my personality, what matters to me and the type of person I am. Some of them are good... some of them maybe not so much - but I have definitely noticed these changes in myself. To mark my second official Mother's Day, I'll share these changes with all of you...

I'm more interested in politics - slightly. I've always voted, but I really don't care much for politics. I think it stems from the knowledge that what you read about politicians is rarely the truth or the whole picture. I have a hard time tolerating that. Now however, I have the responsibility to Hailey to do my part in making sure the world isn't too screwed up for her when she is older. I'm sure my interest will increase even more when she is in school. I might even get the newspaper. That being said...

I hate reading the news - I used to love the news (I read it mostly online). Now, I have to totally edit the stories which I read. Anything involving a child under the age of 10 will depress me all morning - and there is a bad news story about a small child every single day! Every time you read a story like that, you run the risk of imaging yourself in their shoes, and you just can't start every day of your life like that. I'm trying not to become a paranoid parent, so I found it's best to just not read those headlines.

I cry more - I cry a lot more than I used to. It used to take a LOT for me to weep and I never cried at work. I cry now for happy things as well as sad. My top three tear-jerkers: Children, animals and soldiers. One particular song will make me cry every single time I hear it. The news (as stated above) can make me cry with a single headline. My eyes well up almost every time I check in on Hailey as she sleeps. I'm so much more thankful for my life than I have been in the past, so much more empathetic....that I sometimes just can't hold back the waterworks.

I look at children in public places completely differently - misbehaving kids in public used to annoy the daylights out of me. Now, when I see a screaming kid, I am much more tolerant of the child - its the parents that will annoy me more. Often, I will see parents that are genuinely trying to rein the kid in, and I feel sorry for them. Every parent has to deal with public tantrums, they are a fact of parenthood. There are a ton of parents though, that don't help the situation.. or worse...totally pay no attention to what the kid is doing or how it effects others. I'm completely tolerant of babies, toddlers and their parents. But...the older the kid, the more annoyed I am.

I'm even more attracted to my husband - before I had Hailey, I read a story about two married women talking. The childless woman was asking her friend about how having kids changes your relationship with your husband. I read intently at this point, because that is an issue discussed in 'new parenting' circles and something that worried me as well. When you are pregnant, you hear all about how your relationship takes a backseat once a child comes into the picture. In the story, the woman with children thought to herself how she could possibly relay the change to her friend. Yes, the relationship with her husband was different, but not in the way her friend feared. The woman saw her husband as more than a friend and a soul mate... but also as a father. How she felt when she watched him play with their child, made her love him in ways she didn't know existed before. When he became a father, he also became a complete person and she finally understood how to love him as a whole.

I totally get that now.

I'm more aware of my own bad habits - this is a big one for me. I am much more aware of my own bad habits and faults...and hopefully, much more willing to change them. There are the obvious bad habits that everyone wants to change - 'I want to eat better and exercise more' - of course...who doesn't think that? I DO want to lead a healthier lifestyle, and I want to teach that to my daughter. But there are other, sneakier things that also need to change with me. A better self image for one... maybe that comes with better food and exercise, maybe it doesn't. If it doesn't...how do I come across to my daughter - defeated, depressed or positive and determined? And that is just the surface. There are so many things you want to build for your child...that when you realize the foundation of those things is you...you understand how important it is that you be stronger than you have ever been.

Moms are incredible, nurturing and complicated people. We never did much for Mother's Day when I was growing up - but my mother is the most amazing, patient and kind person I have ever met. I hope you celebrated your Mother's Day in a way that every mother deserves.

Two Too Early

Here is my first installment in my blog series:

Things They Don't Tell New Moms:

" The Terrible Twos start long before your child turns two."

Why...why...why...are there no billboards with this important information on them? I don't know why I thought that the terrible twos would begin the moment she finished her 2008 birthday cake, but I did. Hailey is 20 months old, we should have a little less than 4 months of 'One-hood' left before she turns to the dark side. But we don't, that beautiful illusion is shattered and I have to face it...my loving, sweet daughter is a pre-two (like a pre-teen with less angst and more hitting).

How long is this going to last? I'd say I don't know except there is this wonderful thing called the Internet - and now I can find out EXACTLY how long we have to endure the tantrum merry-go-round. I found this online: Terrible Two Countdown No kidding. Plug in your child's birthday and name and this is the result....

Hailey was born on August 24, 2006 and is 1 years and 9 months old. You have 471 days - 9 hours - 2 minutes - and 28 seconds until your child is out of the terrible twos phase.

Yes folks....down to the second. The terrible twos shouldn't last more than a year...it's just cosmically unfair. However, through careful observation, I have learned some things to get us through the next 471 days, 9 hours, 2 minutes and 28...27...26...seconds. I've learned to identify... Hailey's Tantrum Phases

The 'Look'

Scold her for something she just did and you may get to see 'The Look' - head down, chin to chest, deep breaths...not looking at you... until.... suddenly...without moving her head she rolls her eyes up to look at you. This is the warning shot before the battle begins.

The 'Whine'

'The Whine' occurs when Hailey is attempting something but she can not quite achieve her goal. It starts with small "Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh" noises. A really good place to experience this is at the gate between the living room and the kitchen. Let's say Hailey's goal is a glass of milk. She will try to get to the kitchen and if the gate is closed, she will attempt to wrench it out of position while exclaiming "Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh" If there is no milk in her hand at the end of that time, she will go directly to 'The Wail'

The 'Wail'

The Wail is set apart from the final three phases by one unique characteristic - no physical contact is made. The 'Wail' is just an ear-piercing expression of mad. It is loud...really, really loud. If the nearest adult attempts to ignore this stage, they will encounter the next (and possibly painful) stage...

The 'Strike'

The first stage of physical contact. She will rear her arm back and hit you wherever she can reach, leg, arm face...doesn't matter as long as it makes you realize that she is not only mad, but that she won't be ignored either. If you are lucky she will pause long enough for you to catch her arm. However, the truly treacherous aspect of 'The Strike' is that it can happen independent of all the other stages, totally out of the blue. Unlike bowling, the strike is not a good thing.

The 'Meltdown'

Full stage, no-holds-barred all out tantrum. This includes hitting, screaming, flailing, throwing herself on the floor, kicking. It is the result of an adult trying to physically make her do something she does not want to do (putting clothes on after being naked as an example). The meltdown happens most often around naps or bedtime.

The 'Sorry'

Fortunately for us, one of the things she does do well is say she's sorry and give you a hug. the amazing thing about this stage is that you really feel like she means it - at least for now. She's so cute with her lower lip stuck out when she says it, it almost makes those 471 days worth it

...almost.

Thug Baby

This is what happens when my daughter dresses herself....

...and undresses herself.

The End and the Beginning

This past week has been better than a spa weekend! I'll tell you why....

Winter guard ended the first weekend of this month and I feel like a caterpillar coming out of it's cocoon. I'm tying up some of the loose ends with guard, gathering pictures for my annual photo disk and packing away my guard bag for another season.

Did it end the way I wanted it to...? Yeah, I think it did. I am very proud of all my performers. Our state finals show wasn't perfect, but we did our best and it really showed. What is 'perfect' anyway, was I the perfect instructor all season? Definately not. I really learned something about the meaning of success this year. We had a good show, a good team and we had a lot of fun....success!

However, now that it is over...I have this really foreign thing I have to deal with...it's called...TIME.

This past weekend I spent 5 hours cleaning my dining room, just the dining room! It's so clean you could actually eat in there!

In fact my weekend was full of crazy things:

• I read a book!! I actually read it, and finished it!!
• I shopped for myself (new purse)
• I went out to dinner with my husband (alone!) to a nice place
• I played with my daughter and helped tuck her in every night!
• Nathan and I watched an entire video...together!
• Hold on to your hats...I even did my nails...and they haven't chipped yet!
  
  Holy cow, how could I pack that all into one weekend!?! Oh yeah! TIME!!

Don't get me wrong, I totally miss my guard kids - it isn't about not wanting to be around them, it's about not having to.

It feels like spring, like the first day you can walk around outside without a 20 pound winter jacket on. Every thing is fresh, new and full of possibilities. O.K.... maybe I'm being a little dramatic...but it feels really, really good to do something for myself.

I think everyone should try it.
Go.
Right Now!

More 'Toddler True-isms'

More Lessons From Toddlerville

* Regardless of their behaviour during the day, all toddlers are cute when they are sleeping.

* Children will immediately gravitate to the most dangerous item in the room.

* Shoes are the anchor of an outfit. Without them, socks, pants and shirts all come off eventually.

* The more expensive the toy is, the more exciting the box it came in is.

* While running is fun... streaking is the best!!

* Even if you don't think you are sleepy...you really are sleepy.

* They will love the hat in the store, but immediately throw it on the ground once you get outside.

* A toddler can somehow figure out how to get to the 'contacts list' on your cell phone and dial the person you least want to speak to.

* The cup a drink is served in is very, very important.

* The droolier the face, the more kisses they want to give you.

* The toilet is almost as fun as the tub.

* If one child _* fill in the blank*__ , your child must also _ *fill in the blank*_ , but louder and with more conviction.

* If left alone for 5 minutes, a toddler will learn how to use the TV remote ...even if you can't.

* Toddlers will babble and giggle non-stop, until Grandma calls - then it's complete silence.

* The best, most fun, most exciting toy in the world is the toy the other kid has.

* The moment you leave the daycare place, they forget why they were crying.

* When screaming or throwing a tantrum, jazz hands are a must! [see image -left]

* The dog will move faster than you thought possible the moment you give your child a piece of cheese.

* The one toy you are looking for is the only toy that is not in the middle of the living room floor.

Things I have learned

Things I have learned as a parent:

* A toddler's reach is always half an inch closer than you thought it was.

* No amount of hair gel or mousse works as well at holding hair in place as a handful of slimy pasta.

* If pressing a button on a toy results in a phrase that is longer than 3 seconds, you will never, ever hear the complete phrase.

* Toddlers understand everything you say to them, unless it starts with "No.."

* Any food can be spit onto the floor and dogs will eat anything regardless of how slimy it is.

* A diaper and/or onesie is the equivalent of a toddler purse.

* Bowel movements can defy gravity (sorry, I had to say it).

* If you don't want to be held, arch your back.

* Just because you love a food one day, doesn't mean you will tolerate it the next.

* If you can get a knee on it, it can be climbed on.

* No house has enough storage higher than three feet from the floor.

* It's fun to roll off the dog / jump off the chair / hide in the cupboard.

* It's not fun to get knocked over by the dog / fall off the chair / or get stuck in the cupboard.

* The dirtier the clothes, the more a toddler wants to wear them.

* The only things that are fun to bang on are whatever things your parents are trying to use.

* Most falls don't make you cry, unless someone is looking.

* You don't have to have a cold in oder to have an endless supply of snot running down your face.

Riding the Guard Coaster

**Welcome to Winter Guard. Please keep your hands and

feet inside the car for the duration of the ride**

One of the things I haven't blogged about lately is winter guard. If you read my first several entries (before Hailey was born), I mention it often. I've sprinkled bits and pieces of it throughout my postings and written about some of the joys and frustration of being involved.

For whatever reason, I have not mentioned anything about winter guard this year - and that seems odd to me. If you were to see me on a semi-regular basis, I talk about it a lot (everyone take a moment to feel bad for my husband). It particularly puzzles me because this year I am in charge. The past four years, I have been mainly a design consultant who also could jump in and help the occasional performer. Now however, I run practice - 3 hours, 10 kids and most of the time I run it by myself. I get them to shows, organize parents do paperwork - anything that needs to be done. I do have a lot of help: a great writer who gave us a brilliant show, incredible parents who are willing to do whatever it takes and a wonderful group of kids (99% of the time).

This season has been one of the biggest roller coaster rides I can remember, I've learned a lot from it...

#1. Kids need to slow down - some kids do so much...so many activities, so much school work. I truly believe that everyone should be involved in something they enjoy - whether it is school related or not. Finding something you love to do brings joy into your life. However, that doesn't mean that the more you do, the more joy you have. Sometimes juggling 5 activities is not better, its just more. While I've seen some kids that can handle it, most of them just add stress to their lives. I don't know that kids with so much on their plates ever truly appreciate what each activity has to teach them.

#2. I've learned that the 'bad cop' is usually the one who gets things done. I've always been the good cop -always. I don't think I could ever be the bad cop, it's not in my nature. This year, my unwavering faith in the concept of 'lead by example' has definitely wavered. Some days, having fun and working hard are like two totally different ships traveling in opposite directions - you have to choose to board one or the other and they never end in the same place. Days like that are completely draining and can immediately suck the happiness out of me.

#3. There is no activity in the world that can take the place of parental involvement. Period. I don't think I even need to elaborate on that.

#4. There is inside me an inexhaustible supply of patience, frustration, pride, irritation and love for these kids and this activity - and it can all be felt at the exact same time. As much as I sometimes want to curl up in a ball and fantasize about this season being over, when April comes, I am going to feel sadness as well as relief. I'm going to MISS these kids -they are pretty amazing. I am going to MISS this activity, it has brought me so much personal growth and satisfaction.

Like a roller coaster, the season has its ups and downs - its exciting and fun but at times makes me completely sick to my stomach. It's over in the blink of an eye, but you still want to go on again even though you know its going to scare the daylights out of you.

**Please do not exit until the ride has come to a complete stop**