I have been a little remiss about posting lately, and I apologize to my throngs of rabid blog fans. The month of August has been a crazy one!
I have been 'hired' by the PNHS marching band - that has been taking up a LOT of my time and energy. Hailey's first birthday party is on the 25th of this month and (at this point in time) I have no doors on my kitchen cabinets. I am in the process of repainting them and the whole project has been one gigantic headache after another.
Even though my life has been a bit crazed to date...I cannot let the impending occasion of my daughter's first birthday pass without making a special note.
My Dear Baby Hailey-
I wanted to take a moment to reflect and tell you how much you mean to me and how much the first year of your life has completely and totally changed mine forever.
You, your dad and I have all been on a road together, one that started even before you were born.
You may not realize this, but your daddy and I spent 5 years trying to have a baby and I was beginning to think that it was never going to happen. I said the words "Please, just one" over and over until they almost lost their meaning. The day I found out I was pregnant with you, was the day that the road your dad and I were walking on finally turned.
I think because of that, I had the most wonderful pregnancy. Daddy and I did everything we could to prepare ourselves for your arrival - but the road was one we had never been on before. I couldn't believe that I had such a strong connection with someone who I hadn't even met and near the end all I could think about was seeing your face. I was completely unprepared for how beautiful it would be.
When you were born - it was a total surprise, and a blur. I didn't have hours of labor and a long delivery to get me used to the idea that I was going to be a mom. One minute I was pregnant - the next, I was a mom. Your dad showed me a beautiful, wrinkly bundle of answered prayers, and then two of you were off. I remember lying there with a crazy mixture of absolute joy and crippling fear - you were perfect and I wanted the world to be perfect for you.
Now we are almost ready to celebrate your first birthday and since that first day, everything is different and yet nothing has changed. You have reached so many milestones and firsts and have grown so much - yet, just like the day you were born, this year has been a complete blur.
You and I spent a lot of time together early on - those days before I went back to work are priceless memories of love and frustration. Although you were so small and helpless, it is amazing the way you showed Daddy and me exactly how to care for you. The first part of that road wasn't always smooth, but each step got easier and easier to take. Since then, life has been a mad flurry of diapers and giggles.
Watching you through this year filled me with so much love and pride. I am beginning to see your incredible personality and sense of humor shine through. You and your daddy bring out the best in each other. When I watch the two of you play, I find a feeling that extends past the love I have for you as individuals.
Through all of the beautiful moments, there are also times of worry and fear. I am excited and anxious about the future. Just like when I was pregnant and couldn't wait to see your face, I want to know what your childhood will be like...I want to know that you will be happy.
I have been 'hired' by the PNHS marching band - that has been taking up a LOT of my time and energy. Hailey's first birthday party is on the 25th of this month and (at this point in time) I have no doors on my kitchen cabinets. I am in the process of repainting them and the whole project has been one gigantic headache after another.
Even though my life has been a bit crazed to date...I cannot let the impending occasion of my daughter's first birthday pass without making a special note.
******************************************
My Dear Baby Hailey-
I wanted to take a moment to reflect and tell you how much you mean to me and how much the first year of your life has completely and totally changed mine forever.
You, your dad and I have all been on a road together, one that started even before you were born.
You may not realize this, but your daddy and I spent 5 years trying to have a baby and I was beginning to think that it was never going to happen. I said the words "Please, just one" over and over until they almost lost their meaning. The day I found out I was pregnant with you, was the day that the road your dad and I were walking on finally turned.
I think because of that, I had the most wonderful pregnancy. Daddy and I did everything we could to prepare ourselves for your arrival - but the road was one we had never been on before. I couldn't believe that I had such a strong connection with someone who I hadn't even met and near the end all I could think about was seeing your face. I was completely unprepared for how beautiful it would be.
When you were born - it was a total surprise, and a blur. I didn't have hours of labor and a long delivery to get me used to the idea that I was going to be a mom. One minute I was pregnant - the next, I was a mom. Your dad showed me a beautiful, wrinkly bundle of answered prayers, and then two of you were off. I remember lying there with a crazy mixture of absolute joy and crippling fear - you were perfect and I wanted the world to be perfect for you.Now we are almost ready to celebrate your first birthday and since that first day, everything is different and yet nothing has changed. You have reached so many milestones and firsts and have grown so much - yet, just like the day you were born, this year has been a complete blur.
You and I spent a lot of time together early on - those days before I went back to work are priceless memories of love and frustration. Although you were so small and helpless, it is amazing the way you showed Daddy and me exactly how to care for you. The first part of that road wasn't always smooth, but each step got easier and easier to take. Since then, life has been a mad flurry of diapers and giggles.
Watching you through this year filled me with so much love and pride. I am beginning to see your incredible personality and sense of humor shine through. You and your daddy bring out the best in each other. When I watch the two of you play, I find a feeling that extends past the love I have for you as individuals.
Through all of the beautiful moments, there are also times of worry and fear. I am excited and anxious about the future. Just like when I was pregnant and couldn't wait to see your face, I want to know what your childhood will be like...I want to know that you will be happy. I want to protect you without limiting you.
I want to encourage you without smothering you.
I want to teach you all the things I have learned and none of my own insecurities.
I don't ever want you to leave, but I want you to someday find your own road.
So I guess, until that time, you, Daddy and I will walk the road in front of us. Hopefully, we will know when to hold your hand and when to let go. I'm sure we will each trip occasionally, but as long as we are together, we won't stay down long. I can't wait to see where our road leads us Hailey Bug...even when you run ahead of us...we will always be on it with you.
I don't ever want you to leave, but I want you to someday find your own road.
So I guess, until that time, you, Daddy and I will walk the road in front of us. Hopefully, we will know when to hold your hand and when to let go. I'm sure we will each trip occasionally, but as long as we are together, we won't stay down long. I can't wait to see where our road leads us Hailey Bug...even when you run ahead of us...we will always be on it with you.
I want the world to be perfect for you - you deserve no less.
Love
-Mommy
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